Ah, yes...
I learned that very lesson firsthand, Robbie.
If someone or something appears to be too good to be true, it's important to pay attention to that prickly gut feeling - whether it's awareness that your past cynicism is about to be completely razed by someone who IS genuinely good or you get weird Hannibal Lechter vibes from someone.
I once dated someone who lied about everything. On the surface, at first, he seemed amazing - he was smart, decently attractive, funny, and successful. He seemed confident and happy with himself, his career and the relationships in his life. Fast-forward a few years - this guy's life was a house of cards. He lied about his finances, his job, his personal relationships - everything. I learned the hard way, and it broke my heart. That reinforced the lesson that what appears spectacular and compatible on the surface isn't always the case.
It really upsets me when people hide behind a facade like that - what have they got to hide? Sure, I can understand it when someone is painfully shy and uncomfortable with public scrutiny. But I have to figure that in cases where people create elaborate lies to impress others, there is something seriously lacking in their character and in their lives - specifically, strength and self-awareness.
It's just a fact - whether they're from Philadelphia...or New Orleans.
If someone or something appears to be too good to be true, it's important to pay attention to that prickly gut feeling - whether it's awareness that your past cynicism is about to be completely razed by someone who IS genuinely good or you get weird Hannibal Lechter vibes from someone.
I once dated someone who lied about everything. On the surface, at first, he seemed amazing - he was smart, decently attractive, funny, and successful. He seemed confident and happy with himself, his career and the relationships in his life. Fast-forward a few years - this guy's life was a house of cards. He lied about his finances, his job, his personal relationships - everything. I learned the hard way, and it broke my heart. That reinforced the lesson that what appears spectacular and compatible on the surface isn't always the case.
It really upsets me when people hide behind a facade like that - what have they got to hide? Sure, I can understand it when someone is painfully shy and uncomfortable with public scrutiny. But I have to figure that in cases where people create elaborate lies to impress others, there is something seriously lacking in their character and in their lives - specifically, strength and self-awareness.
It's just a fact - whether they're from Philadelphia...or New Orleans.
posted by Cait at 9:55 AM
4 Comments:
does that include Actors? You know, I've known a lot of people who have embellished sleeping stories - both men and women. In my undergraduate, i found out i'd slept with tons of guys - some of them i didn't even know. It never really bothered me, because i knew the truth and so did my friends. It actually became a joke towards the end, with announcing my top ten "i didn't know i slept with" every week.
Now, thats all in fun and games, but it began when someone who was not getting attention desperately sought attention. and in the beginning, before it became funny, i publically tore the person apart. Do i feel bad? No. He deserved it. Maybe he wouldn't do it in the future. But guys, really, if you think the girl won't hear about it one way or another - she will. Believe me, she will. And we have our own opinions about it - but i'm not sharing :)
Sure...in a fantasy world you would hope that people are honest, kind and trusting. We have so many agendas it's really hard to find "true" people.
I would like to think that I am as true as I can be, but yes, there are things that I also hide as well. And it would be easy to say that it's from past relationships but honestly it's just me. I can open up, but you must ask me the questions first.
"It's just a fact - whether they're from Philadelphia...or New Orleans."
Uhhh, hey!
C. (I've never lied to you--that I know of.) Lavie
Or that SHE knows of...
There's a fine line between keeping personal affairs to oneself and lying by omission. Personally, I know I have a tendency to downplay problems like that in order to keep others from worrying. On the other hand, when you're in a relationship with someone and it gets serious, there comes a point when they have the right to know that kind of thing. Being open and honest in a relationship is crucial and even more so when it's a distance relationship. It's so much easier to lie and get away with it. You have to trust each other so much more in order to make it work. And once that trust is lost, it is so hard -- if not impossible -- to regain.
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