Oh it's true Caiti, it's true....

The message board persona. Let's face it. You could be anybody, look like anybody, live anywhere, or do anything - all with no one finding out the truth.

For instance, let's just say our message board Casanova is from...oh...Philadelphia. He claims to have a good job and really be a ladies man. Even has pics to "prove" it. Any of it's easy. Why? Because all somebody has to do is be a photoshop expert anymore, and viola - instant message board stud wannabe.

The message board can be the locker room of old. The place where every guy told stories to try to see who was the bigger man, and who did who how many times. The only thing about a message board is this - the fantasy world can be upheld MUCH longer because, really, how many message board people do you actually meet.

So keep that in mind the next time you find that dazzling someone online. Are they really who they say they are? Do they really look like THAT? Just like the old adage - if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Wait a second...

...guys actually lie about their number of sexual conquests?

Say it ain't so, Robbie...say it ain't so...

My roommate is convinced of the adage that when men list a total, it should be divided, while a woman's public total should be multiplied.

Frankly, I think it's hilarious when a guy does the whole Penthouse Forum braggadoccio - it smacks of desperation and a peculiar need to be thought of as some sort of coital hero. It's kind of like those guys who hide behind their anonymous internet personas - they may be Big Man on the Virtual Campus of a message board, but in reality they tend to be lame Barney Fife doppelgangers.

That said, it strikes me that some women are now doing the same, and that traditional gender roles have gone out the window, and in some cases, reversed. Many women now brag about their sex lives, ala Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall's character on Sex and the City).

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for gender equality where applicable. But I guess in some ways I'm a throwback to the Donna Reed era - I wince at the thought of bragging about my personal life. To me, that's the key word - personal. It should be private, and not fodder for amusement for internet bullies like I see trolling the web.

Besides, I was always more like Kristin Davis' character, Charlotte.

OK, a guy insider secret

SHHH - don't tell. I think I'm just going to have to let you in on a guy secret. Now this is something you may already know, but bear with me.
In reference to Caiti's "studs" in the post below.....most guys that claim to have been with lots of women are generally full of crap. There I said it. Now, I'm not saying they are lying about going out with the girl, but once you start to question the guy about what really happened, let's just say that the story doesn't live up to the reality.
True, there are guys out there that do bed women and brag about it. Of course, you have to question the girl and her sobriety level once this guy has started making rounds. 'Cause let's face it fellows - women have a "guy gossip" network.
Let's say you want to date a girl. If one of her friends finds out, then the line is open. Those friends can find out stuff that would make your head spin, and fast too. And unlike guys, most girls to tend to care if you brag about bedding everything with 2 boobs and breathing. Once that word gets around, the guy is left standing alone.

So, let's recap. If a guy brags about bedding any woman, any time - you can just about bet he's not exactly divulging the whole truth. I hate to say it ladies, but to certain guys - it's like a competition of who can get the most and the best. Facts aren't exactly checked, and the price for playing is usually a reputation.

Damn it, but...

...I do love my Carrie Bradshaw D'Orsay pumps. Hell, I can't afford Manolo Blahniks (yet), but Charles Dave has provided reasonable facsimiles that sit in a place of honor in my closet.

I just need to find an opportunity to wear them. The opera, perhaps? Hmmm...

As for my thoughts on Sex and the City as it impacts America's coke-snorting youth...well...Lindsay Lohan is clearly attempting to sound worldly (my sig other will appreciate that reference) and precocious. But really, she just sounds...trashy.

And yes, there's a clear double-standard where quantity of sex partners is concerned. Women who take on numerous partners are considered sluts or whores (Fingercuffs, anyone?), whereas men who do the same are high-fived and called studs.

(I prefer to think of them as manwhores.)

Man, I wish Jeff Bowden and his manservant Dickey were coaching manwhores...then we could sell them to another pimp...I mean, college coaching staff.

Sigh.

Hollywood isn't dating...

..but it does seem to set an uneasy precedent for relationships for those who want the life to imitate art. Like Caiti alluded to in her posts, Hollywood relationships seem to compose of one or two common themes.

First of these "themes", if you will, is the relationship of opportunity. Just like Brad and Angelina, among others, their relationship was born of opportunity on a set. Brad's wife was away while he played off screen with what would turn out to be a new leading lady. Well, at least until the next picture films.

Second is that these "Hollywood types" seem to have relationships for the media. You have to wonder how many of these "marriages" and and other relationships aren't just hype machines for the next project. These are the ones you hear of breaking up at the drop of a hat.

There seems to be a little part of each one of us that wants our life to reflect some of what we see on the silver screen. However, the "Hollywood Marriage" of today is far from the ideal that our parents knew of marriage.

Also, did "Sex and the City" change the way that some think of relationships? Without a doubt. The show gave some women the idea that multiple partners and no commitments was a great way to live. That doesn't bode well in laying a good foundation for responsible REAL adult relationships further down the road.

Speaking of monogamy...

Here's a fun quote from Lindsay Lohan in the UK's News of the World.

"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!"

Yeah, so...thoughts? Is Linds refreshingly honest, or just trying a tad too hard?

Acting...or true love?

Robbie raises a good point - Hollywood and dating...is it some sort of chicken-and-egg scenario? Which comes first, acting or love?

Take Brangelina.

Celebrity gossips salivated over the end of Brad Pitt's marriage to Jennifer Aniston, and almost overnight, hats and t-shirts bearing either "Team Jolie" or "Team Aniston" appeared in chic L.A. boutiques. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie starred together in the film Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and the chemistry was clearly palpable.

In just over a year-and-a-half, the two have had a child together, and Pitt has adopted her two children. So...which came first?

On-set hookups like these make me tend to believe that when two actors playing lovers throw themselves into character, they may actually think they're in love. And when the cameras stop rolling, the feigned passion may actually ignite into something palpable. Once someone is convinced they're in love, they may find it easier to justify cheating on a significant other or spouse.

Another example is Owen Wilson and his new paramour Kate Hudson. She left her husband for the notorious ladies' man - ending what many in the industry thought was a stable, loving relationship. How'd that happen? They met on the set of You, Me and Dupree.

Still doubting? Try Jennifer Garner and first husband Scott Foley. They fell in love while playing love interests on the set of Felicity, married, and subsequently, she landed the starring role on Alias. Wanna take a stab at what happened next?

Yeah, she totally left her husband for on-screen love interest Michael Vartan.

The fact that we as a society create new and fun ways to make cheating permissive reminds me of why I'm not married.

I'm just sayin'...

Why cheat? From my perspective

I've always kind of thought that if someone ever really WANTED to cheat, then they need to examine themselves and their relationship. If they aren't strong enough not to be committed to the person they are going to cheat on, then they need to leave the relationship and at least have the respect for that person to save them the pain.

If the relationship is the problem, then it's time to either end it, or try to salvage it. That decision is something personal and cannot be influenced by friends or loved ones. In the end, YOU have to do what's best for YOU.

Back to Ryan and Reese, though. If you read some of the Hollywood stories, this was supposed to be the perfect Hollywood marriage. Of course, the tabloids had stories of problems starting a while ago. In Hollywood marriages, the question begs - Do the tabloids follow the marriage, or does the marriage follow the tabloid?

Reese no longer hearts Ryan...

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe announced today their separation. Blogger Perez Hilton intimated on his site that Ryan may have been involved in some extracurricular activities on the set of his new movie in Texas.

So is it an ego thing? Why do people cheat in Hollywood relationships? Why aren't there more examples of strong values like those displayed by Paul Newman and his wife of a gazillion years, Joanne Woodward? Was Ryan dismayed at his wife's meteoric rise to stardom?

Why do people cheat?

I'm a gal close to hitting 30...well, at least I will be in a couple of years. In the ten years I've been dating, I've been cheated on by at least HALF of my boyfriends - but I've never been tempted to cheat. What's the deal, guys?

I get the biological urge to spread your proverbial...er...seed, but is it that difficult to commit to one mate? Is monogamy truly against our base nature?

That's what I'd like to know - am I some sort of freak because I'm loyal to my significant other?

Discuss, discuss.

P.S. Who on EARTH would cheat on Reese Witherspoon?

If brown is the new black...

...then garnet is definitely the new blog.

Welcome to Garnet is the New Blog, your he said/she said blog for relationship advice, FSU sports, and other sundry items.